Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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