I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
