why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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