I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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