i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
