Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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