and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
