is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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