A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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