It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
