you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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