she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
