The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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