I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
