Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
