Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
