Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
