toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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