He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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