bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
