Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
