Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
