I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
