i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
