How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
