So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
