No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
