I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
