So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
