from now on my penis is your penis
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no, he came in my armpit
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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