Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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