let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
