Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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