thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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