oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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