the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
