Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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