so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
