We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
