I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need moral support for this bender
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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