let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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