Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize