Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
