I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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