i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
