Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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