he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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