I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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