Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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