what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize