can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
