so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ttyl tear gas
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
