she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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