quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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