he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
