rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
