If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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