Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
