Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
