making cat noises will not fix the situation.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
