I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
