I just pynch a tree in the face
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Do vagina's smell?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize