I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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