You're my little dorito
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
