You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
