I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
