Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
