This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
