idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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