I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
