Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
whose parrot is this?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
